When fully assembled, the Super Ear Amplifier amplifies ambient sound through headphones by a factor of 50. A wordsmith who goes by the name of “Amazon Customer” says, “It’s like a hearing aid on steroids.” Teach the kiddos, or yourself, how to solder safely and without screwing up, and the Super Ear will reciprocate your effort with a massive, in-stereo audio effect. You’ll be able to hear as well as Superman or Dracula or, like, a German Shepherd. I myself would be able to hear exactly what that girl 3 tables away is saying to her friend right now after looking at me longingly, without sending my friend Cornelius over to eavesdrop.

I’m what, C? I…oh. Apparently I have chocolate all over my face. I might have eaten a semi-melted Kit Kat before going out to lunch today. Hey, thanks for telling me, douchebag!

The Super Ear Amplifier kit includes dual high-sensitivity microphones that are placed at 45-degree angles to provide maximum separation and maximal reception. Also included are an on/off switch, volume control, and audio output connector. The 2.4″ x 2.1″ board runs on 3 x AAA batteries.

Available at amzn.com for $13.99